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great good fortune
Secondary infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and other (better) life events
Wednesday marks a year since my Dad died. It has been a year filled with ups and downs.
Last year, I could not bring myself to post any of the pictures from our final visit. On this anniversary of his death, I was drawn to the happier images, but felt it misrepresented the occasion to show only those, so here is another to give counterweight:
My Dad always loved animals. In his memory, I present for your amusement a video of his dog who had the most peculiar and hilarious habit of hiking a basketball between her rear legs for fun. It never fails to crack me up, which surely was my Dad's most treasured goal when he was around people.
Remember that whole interview "practice" I did way back in February, the one I thought was just to brush up my resume and my interviewing skills?
Turns out I got a job offer last week. It was for a one year contracting position, but the money was not what I needed to make this whole exercise worthwhile. We kept crunching the numbers, but when I realized that I would not be happy with the salary knowing that I would not clear a dime in the summer months, I steeled myself and went back to ask for a rate increase. They brought the offer up to a respectable rate that allows me to both afford childcare for two during summer months plus pay commute costs. So I said yes. Starting July 1, I'll return to the land of the employed.
It is a huge step for me. Tiny Boy will start preschool (he is sooooo very ready now, makes it easier). Adding the second-parent-working dimension to our lives will be... interesting. We've done it before, so I'm hoping the lessons learned last time will make it easier this time. I will only have one year to work part-time (20 hours/week), after which I will need to consider working more hours or they need to make me a part-time regular hire offer. I'm not sure our desired family dynamic will coordinate well with an increased work schedule, so we'll deal with that if/when the time comes.
I'm looking forward to reporting to my new future-manager. He seems very employee-focused and his group has many interesting projects. He really addressed my concerns about balancing work and home, and sounds like he will be flexible as needed.
My countdown to July is on, and I am frantically trying to schedule my daughter into summer camps (most of them book up in February and March here). Later this week, I plan to post a listing of camps I found for future reference. You know, in case this turns into a repeat gig.
It seems everywhere I turn, some old company is advertising how they are suddenly so "green." C'mon, we all know it's just a buzz phrase advertisers are using to capture some greenBACKS. I am extremely dubious of the abrupt 'awareness' touted by these companies.
It's no secret that I'm a tree hugger. I recycle absolutely everything, own a Prius, and participate in an organic farm co-op. These are things that are meaningful to me, and I believe such deeds add up over time, one person at a time. If I could afford to re-roof my house with solar shingles, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Instead, we have added insulation and are replacing some older dual-pane windows that have lost their thermoseal and are replacing an inefficient exterior door. We're strongly weighing replacing our A/C and heating system with high efficient units, too.
One of the most promising things I've come across lately is creating biodiesel from algae. Algae fields can grow in symbiosis with waste treatment or carbon-producing power generation plants, and the output is astronomical (100,000 gallons per acre) compared to other production crops (corn, for instance, at 20 gallons/acre). It is a fascinating idea, and I highly recommend reading about it. Obviously there is a long way to go before we could switch completely to such technology, but consider this:
If we dedicated a space the 1/10th size of the Sonora desert in Arizona, we could generate enough algal biodiesel to meet the transportation needs of the entire U.S. population each year! We would in reality need to diversify the geographical locations of these plants, but the potential output is staggering given the land requirements. The efficiency rate of a closed system is insanely high, and I am hopeful that we might have finally discovered a crop and a method that can not only help recycle the waste and runoff of farming and ranching and human life but also turn it into a sustainable fuel source.
Can you imagine a country not dependent on foreign oil? Consider turning the $100-$150 billion annual outlay we pay to other nations into income and jobs for U.S workers. "Onshoring" our own energy resources floats my boat in a big way.
After two years of feeling sorry for my breastfeeding-related dairy-free status skipping it, I plan to take advantage of this year's Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's. We used to make a family outing of it. I think it's time for a revival! They even usually have sorbet flavors for the dairy-averse (ask to check the ingredient list just to be sure; I found it dairy-free in the past).
The directions to this exercise state: You can only type ONE word! Not as easy as you might think. It's really hard to only use one word answers.
Here is a snapshot view of my life today:
1. Where is your cell phone? kitchen
2. Your significant other? supportive
3. Your hair? shaggy
4. Your father? dead (sorry: it's true)
5. Your mother? wonderful!
6. Your favorite person? one??
7. Your dream last night? seeking
8. Your favorite drink? Pomtini
9. Your dream/goal? contentment
10. The room you're in? relaxing
11. Your ex? unknown
12. Your fear? inadequacy
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? ecstatic
14. Where were you last night? photoshopping
15. What you're not? disingenuous
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? lens
18. Where you grew up? diverse
19. The last thing you did? organized
20. What are you wearing? PJs
21. Your TV? poker
22. Your pets? snoozing
23. Your computer? perfect
24. Your life? happy
25. Your mood? mellow
26. Missing someone? Mom
27. Your car? plush
28. Something you're not wearing? deodorant
29. Favorite store? fabric
30. Your summer? scary
31. Like someone? adore!
32. Your favorite color? purple
33. When is the last time you laughed? afternoon
34. Last time you cried? sleeping
35. Greatest accomplishment? children
36. Looking forward to? Moms
37. Something you cherish? beloveds
38. Favorite season? Baseball
39. Biggest annoyance? entitlement
40. Who will/would re-post this?? friends
Four months ago, I was contacted by my ex-step-mom about a small retirement account my Dad had when they were married. She was no longer eligible to collect the sum due to their divorce, but I was apparently the next benefactor.
Since Dad's girlfriend got everything upon his death, and I've lately been feeling rather pissed off about that only because he did not look ahead enough to do anything for his own grandkids, I quickly gathered the required documents and submitted my claim. I sent them in figuring that somehow the girlfriend would get this one, too.
Not so. Last week I received the money! It is not much, but enough that I am creating an investment account for my children's college fund. Hopefully I can make it grow. Hubby and I also agreed that I could use a bit to buy myself the digital SLR camera I have been researching for months.
I got it today, and WOW do I love this camera! It's the Canon Rebel XSi (450D), and I can't wait to finally be able to capture the kinds of shots my point-and-shoot just couldn't do justice to. A few I really like from today:
We have a veritable monkey on our hands, folks. This type of climbing has become TAME:
Today, I caught him clambering eagerly up our five foot LoveSac. He then stood up, scrambled up and over the back of the couch, tumbled down onto the couch seat, and quickly rolled over to flop straight down onto the floor... boom! He hit and bounced up with a big grin on his face, and I struggled to keep a smile off mine. (Can't encourage these crazy games his sister taught him, after all, but it was rather amazing to watch!)
I am loving our farm CSA experience so far. We average two ingredients each week that have me perplexed and saying "What the...??" I end up googling the items and surfing Epicurious to find enticing recipes to try. We are definitely getting our daily servings of veggies in!
I LOVE cardoons, which look a lot like celery but taste very similar to artichokes (instead of eating the thorny blossom of the artichoke, we eat the long stalk of the cardoon). Similar flavor, not as fussy, and quite easy to throw it into other dishes.
After two rounds of parsnips, we all categorically hate 'em. They turn my hands orange when I wash/cut them, and unless they are VERY fresh (as in, first-day-picked fresh), they start developing a rather strong flavor that's hard to mask. They are also hella easy to overcook, so tonight's dish turned into mashed parsnips with tarragon rather than hot, buttered parsnips with tarragon. I think I'll be exchanging future parsnip bags for something (anything) else.
(I know, technically it's Thursday but I'm not asleep yet, so hush now. Wordless Wednesday is a compilation of bloggers who each share a picture that tells a story. This is my first attempt, thanks to Karen. She's also responsible for my unholy lust of the soon-to-be-released Canon Rebel XSi dSLR camera!)
My husband takes woodworking classes occasionally, and has developed a joking relationship with his teacher. I cracked up when he brought this note home from class one day:
"This is your reminder phone call for your Router II class next Sunday. -Jack S.
See- I called your home # & asked to speak to you, & your wife says isn't he in class? And I said No, was he supposed to be? So I hope you are not in too much trouble when you get home. -Jack"
Completely fabricated by this instructor, but totally hilarious!
Wow. Resounding silence. Guess y'all are about as inspired by that topic as I felt! My ears are still open if you have any suggestions, but I'm moving on for now....
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If you have a wee one who will be starting solids-- or is still figuring out how to use utensils-- check out The Soft Landing's safer baby gear blog giveaway. All you have to do to enter is enter a comment to that post by Tuesday, April 8 and you're signed up to win one of two BPA-free feeding kits. You'll have a 2 in ~300 chance of winning. I'm digging the advanced kit for Tiny Boy!
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Also, an inquiry... would you be offended if I blogged occasionally about random products that I am testing? I occasionally get free gizmos and stuff to try out, and sometimes I think they're pretty cool (other ones, not so much). I will be totally transparent about it, so it won't be any surprise that I acquired it through this testing program, but I thought I'd check in with y'all before I just launched into it.
My daughter's only five "and a half", though most days it feels like she's five going on 15, what with the eye rolling and the attitude she blithely slings around here. Her class took a field trip to the zoo last month, and one thing that stood out in her mind is how two of the big cats kept trying to kiss one another.
A red flag went up in my mind, so I gingerly asked more about it. Eventually, I asked her to show me what she was talking about, because her words failed. She came up behind me and reached her head towards my cheek, lunging at me over and over.
Well, then... I guess my hunch was correct! She obviously saw them mating, but tried to frame it in a context she could understand.
Compounding this, my daughter took particular notice of my niece's 6 month old chihuahua's keen interest in our bitch when she was recently in heat. She was confused as to why we had to work so hard to keep them apart? (I told her because we didn't want any "Schnau-huahuas"-- Yes, I felt pretty clever at the time.) Unfortunately, now she thinks that if a boy dog sniffs a girl dog's butt, she will get pregnant.
Tonight at dinner it became apparent that more information is needed, as both my husband and I cracked huge grins when she again espoused this belief. I confessed to her that there is more to it than sniffing butts, and I promised her that we will talk about it more soon ("just not over dinner").
I spent some time tonight surfing good 'ol Ama.zon, looking for any clues how to broach this topic with a 5 year old. I also re-read our copy of Amazing You which is GREAT for preschoolers (covers body parts, pregnancy, birth), but the farthest it goes into mechanics is "When a man and a woman love each other and decide that they want to have a baby, a man's sperm joins with a woman's egg." All infertility objections aside, this book has served us well for two years. It's time for some bigger guns!
This was a great primer. I also ordered from aforementioned online retailer:
Who Am I? Where Did I Come From? (Pop-Up Book), by Ruth Dr Westheimer-- (apparently the only "pop-up" part of the book is a fold-out of a baby's hands and arms wiggling in the womb. I'm treating this more as a curiosity piece rather than educational device)
And soon to be delivered to our branch of the public library, both written by Robie Harris:
My mom covered the facts of life for me in 5th grade by taking me to the library and showing me the shelf with relevant books. She said I could check out anything I'd like, and we could talk about it, too. I always thought that was the right approach for me, since I was such a book worm at that age.
Though honestly, I think I had some idea at age six, when I saw one of our male dogs humping my female dog, and I could not figure out why they could not run away from each other despite my scolding and prodding (see "bulbis glandis", and canine copulation). Yes, I admit I used a broom handle to try to help disconnect them... I thought I could break the tie (that poor dog's penis! Hey, I was only six!)
Any advice for me? I'd really like to avoid the whole 'penis in vagina' thing at age 5. I am worried that she's not mature enough to handle that knowledge yet. Please don't mistake me for a prudish mom, we will be open and honest with her about sex and its related glories, I just feel it could be too much info for my daughter at her particular intellectual/emotional maturity level. Perhaps I'm just nervous and need to get over it already and just have "the talk." I think it's a bit of both.
I knew it had to happen sooner or later. When you're a much younger son in a family with an older sister, well, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out how Tiny Boy ended up like this. At least he doesn't appear traumatized by it!
