Archive for the ‘My miracle child’ Category

The gluten nightmare

Our girl stopped sneaking gluten-containing foods at school about two weeks ago. It helped smooth out what had started as a very rough school year for her.

After over a week of great “green” days– and it was SO nice– it all went to hell.

On a field trip on Tuesday, she scored and ate a few Nilla W@fers from a classmate, and also a Clif bar, despite having an overflowing lunch and snack bag full of all kinds of great choices. Since then, she’s had major tantrums and uncontrollable tears. Screaming at parents who work in the classroom and dare to suggest that she stop reading and join the class or ask if that food choice is really something that is gluten-free. She’s having a hard time with the basics (like feeding herself at lunch time), which of course can make anyone cranky.

So, I continue to struggle with how to best support her and her unique biology. I have started a visual calendar at home where we are tracking what she eats (or days when she chooses not to eat) and how she feels that day, and how easy or hard it is to stay calm and control her behavior. I’m trying to show her the pattern that I have seen emerge after she ingests gluten, and I think she’s starting to “get it” (even though she seems embarrassed and doesn’t really want to admit that there might be a problem tied to the foods she so desperately wants to eat).

My husband and I are taking a P.E.T. class (Parent Effectiveness Training) and are working on our active listening skills. It is good timing as we are putting our news skills to use daily.

Diet dreams dissipate

We started the food allergy diagnosis saga back in August 2008. Both kids have been on pretty restrictive diets since the beginning of September (no wheat, gluten, dairy/casein, or eggs; each child also had individual sensitivity to random stuff like almonds, peanuts, coconut, green bell peppers, and more).

We have completed one round of antibiotic treatments for intestinal parasites and one long round (three to four weeks) of antifungals for the colonized yeast infections. The kids each received four sets of supplements per day (two rounds of probiotics, two of vitamins and omega 3s and other customized supplements). It took me at least an hour per week to pre-measure everything into individual little plastic lidded containers (my sanity saver, instead of spending a half-hour each day doling out the same stuff over and over), in addition to the time spend mixing each supplement and following the dosing schedule.

Charming Boy was ill nearly every two weeks throughout the winter. Many of those illnesses required antibiotics to conquer. Most of his dietary supplements focused on improving his immune sytem (zinc, vitamin C, plus at least three other immune supplements).

Miracle Girl had a rough time with diet modification, especially in school with daily snacks brought in by rotating parents who are not always especially concerned with nutrition or appropriateness of snack choices (hello, chocolate-covered pretzels?!). She became a champ at swallowing pills, and learned to just down her smoothie-style supplment drinks with no complaints. I am really very proud of her for that. Most of her supplements focused on improving her volatile and socially-clueless behavior (providing neurotransmitter support).

Charming Boy still exhibits his same milk-allergy pattern, but his immune system is very strong now. He has been able to bounce back from illnesses (like croup and conjunctivitis) within two days with no antibiotics. This is a HUGE and welcome improvement in his health.

We have just finished another round of testing for Miracle Girl to see where she is at in terms of intestinal yeast overgrowth. There is evidence of a lingering stage 1 yeast overgrowth (the most mild form), despite all the diet changes and the long antifungal regimen. We will probably do one final antifungal round, then give most of the rest of it a break. She has tested negative for the celiac disease genes, so we feel comfortable in weaning her off the GFCF diet. We have held Tiny Boy back from reintegrating the foods until both kids could do it together (makes it so much easier that way).

Honestly, I had hoped to see a much greater improvement in my daughter’s behavioral issues. And some days are great. Maybe once a week we’ll have a really great day, and I recognize that as a clear improvement over basically never having a good day. However, I have dreams of having multiple good days strung together, with fewer outbursts and tantrums, more social awareness, and evidence of a general ability to focus and participate appropriately in the activites of a normal day. It does not feel like that is too much to ask for.

So, we have reached the end of the term I had promised my husband where we would re-evaluate the diet modification approach. It’s been nearly 10 months, and I am ready to wean the kids off almost everything. My sincerest admiration goes out to all parents who do this for a lifetime. It is fucking hard to follow 24/7, and you have to tailor your entire family life around it. We were lucky because our kids didn’t have anaphalactic reactions to these foods; I have friends who have to rush their child to the E.R. whenever she is exposed to even the tiniest amounts of gluten, egg, or dairy. For that distinction, I am grateful.

I feel a bit bitter that I followed this regimen so wholeheartedly and do not have clear results to show for it (for Miracle Girl; it obviously worked for Charming Boy). I am extremely grateful to our family who were so supportive of following the diet and dosing the supplements with us whenever we were together; toting bags and coolers of specialized foods and seeking out specialized grocery stores in nearby cities and states for trips where the kids went to stay with them; for scrutinizing menus and withholding some of the classic grandparent/kid destinations because there is nothing they could eat there; for being willing to learn and be supportive of our efforts, all in the interest of helping our kids.

My next step for Miracle Girl is to learn more about psychtropic drugs for people affected by ADHD. It runs in her genetic line, and it’s becoming clear that academically and socially she NEEDS something to help her focus and be able to reign herself in to participate in basic ways day to day. I have avoided this potential conclusion for at least two years. We will begin the ADHD evaluation process with our pediatrician. For every positive outcome I’ve spoken to a family about, I’ve also heard about the potential and serious negative side effects.

In one aspect, I look forward to a potential pharmaceutical trial. As a particularly astute friend put it, “popping one little pill every day has got to be easier than all the hours [and money] you put into the diet and supplements each week!” Probably a lot more affordable, too.

I wish it had not come to this point. but when I am completely honest with myself, I have to consider the “better living through chemistry” route, in case it is a step in that miraculous direction I’ve dreamt of for years.

End-of-year crazies

It seems like the end and beginning of each school year is just nuts. Lots of shortened days, which means I have to swizzle my work hours to pick up my girl on time. Way too many celebration and culmination activities (science fair, music night, talent show, end of year picnic– all crammed into two short weeks), and the air practically hums with my girl’s nervous energy. She churns over the unknown that the summer will bring, even though most of it will be similar to what she did last summer.

My work is also insane until at least July something-or-other, so I’m in coping mode. Heads down, just trying to “git ‘r done.” I’m sure my stress there does not help my girl be calmer, though I try very consciously to compartmentalize so it does not bleed over.

We are going to venture out in our hand-me-down RV that we’ve been slowly rehabbing all winter, taking our first real vacation since 2007. Three days camped by a river with wineries nearby. I am really looking forward to that trip!

Wish I’d had a clue about booking seaside camping a year in advance, but hopefully I’ll catch a break on that and be able to start planning for 2010, armed with the school calendar for 2009-2010. How insane does that sound? I’m not talking about a trip that requires a Visa to leave the country, just camping at the beach over the hill!

Crystal ball

I had fun with the Obamiconme tool. This says it all:

Picture of our future

Magic

When my daughter was two, I decided it was a good age to bring to life the magic that toddlers believe in. I began by telling her that she could open her electric minivan door using a magic word. She was welcome to choose any magic word she wanted, and she chose “peanut butter.” Since we can trigger the door to open from any of three surreptitious and always-available buttons, the “magic” was pretty convincing. She loved this tradition and it always helped me to know when the door was moving so I could make sure she was safe.

Fast forward four years. Charming Boy is now old enough to be interested in opening his own car door. Miracle Girl and I were delighted to teach him the magic phrase “Open magic peanut butter door!” He caught on and uses it enthusiastically as often as he can.

Last month, one particularly dark and early morning, my son awoke and began talking and calling to me. This is his habit as he tends to rise before the rest of the household. I was moving pretty slowly getting out of bed, and apparently it was not to his satisfaction. He called out “Mommmmy!  Daaaaaddy!  Daaaama [Grandma]!” He paused, and it was then that I heard him loudly and clearly call out “OPEN MAGIC PEANUT BUTTER DOOR!”

We were so convulsed with laughter that I could hardly breathe. It still makes me giggle when I am reminded that he thinks he could open his bedroom door this way. I love the magic of childhood!

Three sixes

Following the meme that caught my fancy at Phred, Fwed & Schweffel, here is the sixth photo from my sixth picture folder:

Miracle Girl at nearly-two years old

This is my daughter at almost-two years old. She was playing with our then-nanny and had the tiniest little pig tails in her hair. She had the chubbiest cheeks, and barely enough hair for her first (bad) bangs haircut! Her joy and sheer enthusiasm for life radiates even from this young age.

Here she is at six years old:

Charming Girl at 6 years

And just because I was curious, I found a picture of Charming Boy at the same age (the best similarly-posed photo I have from that age range, though I do apologize for the poor focus).

Two year old comparison

I expected to see some similarities between the two at the same age, but other than nose shape and hair color, I don't really see any. What do you think?

Pictures from our trip

After our bumpy start, we had a nice and mellow trip to Wyoming. We played Pit and Yatzee after we got the kids to bed on Thanksgiving with my cousins. We helped anchor the foundation rails for a shed my Mom is building (hammer drills are AWESOME!).

Through sunny days and sudden, sporadic snowstorms, we slept, ate, shopped, and watched movies. The kids played in Grandma's enormous back yard, had fun shoveling and playing in the snow, rode my Uncle's miniature horses, and we all tried our best to simply relax. It's hard to believe we're back home again. It really did not feel like ten days elapsed!

As for my whole expired drivers license issue, DMV has everything they need now. I'm just waiting for my new license to arrive in the mail. Or so I have been told….

I captured a few pictures to share our trip:

I love this portrait of my girl.

Charming Boy looks like a Cabbage Patch doll in this photo.

 Not content to simply ride the horse, Charming Boy reaches over to pet the horse, too.

Yeah, now this is cool!

MG had a blast leading the way.

Tired but still hanging on.

Grandma's newly adopted dog is a real sweetie. Of course, she believes she is human instead of canine, but at least she's very well behaved.

First snowfall

This shed will be bigger than that infamous million dollar garage in Palo Alto (at 0.17% of the cost)!

Mr. Stinker Face

Excitement in the air

I took Miracle Girl with me to vote today. She was just as eager as I was to be a part of the process.

Her teacher led a month-long unit to teach the children about all the ways people can vote, and I could not be more thrilled with how relevant it was to the real election. The mock election today was Kit Kat vs. Hershey bars, and they won’t learn the results for another day or two (just like real life)!

On one of my classroom work days, the class made a Venn diagram of the candy candidate’s attributes, showing how much they had in common and what they differed on. When the teacher asked the class if the real-life presidential candidates might have a lot in common, just as the candy candidates do, one little boy blurted out a not-very-flattering comment about McC@in (“You can’t trust McC@in, he’s a liar. He lies about everything!”). Yes, this was from the mouth of a six year old. Be assured that they hear EVERYTHING, and are very likely to repeat it. The teacher navigated deftly away from his comment, but it made my eyes goggle. (I have to say: I have a lot of respect for McC@in with the concession speech he gave tonight.)

Today, MG asked me who I was voting for, and why? I quietly described what I was voting for (or against), and whispered that it’s something we talk about in private, since we vote by secret ballot.

She proudly displayed her “I voted” sticker, as well as the one she handmade today in school. After seven years of mostly feeling ashamed of the negative American image developing internationally and frustrated by the trends developing year by year, today I am very hopeful for the future and proud to be an American.

Diet update

What I most feared about our recent nutritional consult results was the diet changes. What I should have feared was the huge behavior shift we are experiencing with Miracle Girl.

She is doing well with the new eating patterns, but the behavior… holy crap! It started off well, then went downhill. My default words to describe it would be acting out or regression, but when I ran it by the nutritionist, she said it was a clear case of “die off.” As the probiotics and other collected nutritional changes and supplements take effect, the yeast is starting to die off and release toxins into her body. The parasites could also be feeling “stressed” and releasing additional toxins…. and these all affect brain function.

She tweaked some of the dosages and timing, added a dose of activated charcoal to help absorb the nastiness in the middle of the day, and assured me that Things WILL Get Better, that we will be AMAZED at the difference once we get things more stabilized.

I also spoke to our pediatrician today, and learned that our nutritionist did not yet talk with her about the proposed treatment plan for the yeast and parasites. This was supposed to happen at the beginning of last week, so I was pretty perturbed with this revelation. Meanwhile, I am trying my level best to be patient, and hope by the end of the week that we can begin the anti-fungal and antibiotics.

Charming Boy

I have finally found a new moniker for my son: Charming Boy.

Ancedotal support: He was out of preschool several days across a couple of weeks due to illness and family visits. When he finally returned to school, one of his teachers shared with me that she felt like she had to run crowd control for him. The kids were so happy to have him back they kept forming a group around him so that he couldn’t walk through the school that morning.

The older kids have also modified their speech patterns to say some words like him (he has a few age-appropriate letter substitutions going on), so the teachers have found themselves encouraging the older kids to say words correctly to help Charming Boy learn the pronunciation.

I feel like I’m bragging when I mention how magnetic his personality is, but he truly charms people– seemingly with no effort on his part– wherever he goes. This is one lucky little boy, and I am so grateful to be his mom.

A picture of charming boy

It is such a different experience than with Miracle Girl, who has very few internal filters so what she thinks comes right out– often loudly– along with every exuberant emotion. That can be fun once and a while, but it can also be exhausting to constantly help her fit in better. I keep hoping that these diet changes will help bring out a calmer, more self-regulating side to my daughter’s personality.

A picture of Miracle Girl